Here for you today I have something just a little bit different. These are the lyrics to the popular rap song, in the club. You should read them.

go,go,go,go,go,go,go,
go shorty its ya bithhday
we gon party like it's ya birthday
we gon sip bacardi likes it's ya birthday
and we don;t give a f*ck if it's ya birthday
(chorusx2)
you can find me in the club,bottle full of bub mama
i got what ya need if ya into feelin buzzed
im into have sex but i ain't in ta making love so come give me hug if ya into gettin
rubbed
(verse1)
when i pull up front,ya see the benz on the dubs
when i roll twenty deep It's always drama in the club
when they hear i roll wit dre they wanna show me love
when you sell like eminem ,ya get plenty of groupy love
but homie ain't nothin change hold down g's up
i see Xzibit in the cut that **** roll that weed up
if you watch how i move you uh mistake me for a playa or pimp
been hit wit few shells but i don't walk wit a limp
in the hood they the ladies saying "5o ya hot"
they like me,i want them to love me like they love pac
but holla in new york
them fa sho tell ya im loco
and the plan is to put the rap game in a chockhold
im feelin focused man
my money on my mind
i got out the deal and im still on the grind
no shorty said she feelin my style feelin my flow
her girlfriend wanna get bi and they ready to go
(chorus2x)
(bridge)
my flow, my show brought me doe
that brought me all my fancey things
my crib,my cars , my pools,my jewels
ok i came up and i ain't change
and you should love it way more than ya hate it
you mad
i thought you be happy i made it
im that cat by the bar toasting to the good life
i moved out the hood i know ya trin to pull me back right
when my junk get to pumpin in the club its on
i wink my eye at ya chick,if she smiles she gone
the roof on the fire , man let it burn money homie,i aint concerned
im a tell what banks told me cause
go head switch ya style up
if the hate then let them hate
watch the money pile up
we can go up side they head wit a bottle of bub
u know we be
(chorusx2)
(talking)
(laughing)don't try to act like you ain't know where we be either
in the club all the time.
it about to pop and pop off
shady aftermath
G-unit

Alright. Now, if just reading the songs lyrics doesn't make you recoil in disgust due to the sheer stupidity of the words, you're either an avid fan, or 50 Cent himself.

Let's begin. First of all, we notice that shorty (a random hot chick) is going to move and party and sip bicardi like its her birthday with 50 Cent. Does the man not have enough money and fame that he can't just take his girlfriend out to dinner? Or maybe make her move and party and sip bicardi? No, he can't do that because he has to be the thug that we all want him to be. Ok, anyway, after he makes this proposal to shorty, he quickly informs her that he doesn't care if its her birthday, esentially cutting her off. She apparently knew this was going to happen or either didn't care, because she sticks around and he begins to serenade her.

He first tells her that she can find him in the club. He is already talking to her, so she doesn't need to know she can find him there, since she already has. Next he says that he will without a doubt be drinking champagne, perfectly normal. He then ruins all her dreams of a romantic relationship by declaring that his only reason for her to move and party and sip bicardi is because he wants to nail her. She shouldn't even try to make it into anything other than a one night stand. Even that may be stretching it.

He is always gonna drive a Benz and "roll twenty deep". This produces drama in the club. When they hear he "rolls wit Dre, they want to show him love." And since 50 sells like Eminem he gets plenty of groupie love. He then goes on to either insult or compliment several other rappers, I can't tell which he is doing. He likes to hold his g's up. Anyway, he goes on to talk about how cool he is and how he has been shot several times but doesn't limp and how he is making alot of money and how all the women think he's hot and how he is "loco" and how he has got "dis rap game in the choke hold". Such an arrogant jerk. 50 is really focused too. And acording to him, he makes women want to have three-somes with him and their girlfriends. He must be straight thuggin' all the time to make dem shorties act dat way. Yo.

Chorus again. Times 2.

50 continues with his brag-fest and says that his amazing skillz brought him all his dough. I'm sure it had more to do with marketing his gangsta image to the youths of America. 50 now thinks that everyone should love him for the simple reasons that after leaving the hood he is still a criminal and that he likes to show off his fancy things and toast to the good life at bars. Let me tell you something right now. If a white guy (excluding Eminem and Colin Powell) rolled twenty deep into da club and toasted to the good life in front of all dem ganstas, he would be immediatly shot. Yee-uh. When 50's junk get to pumpin in da club, its on. Also, 50 doesn't like it when girls smile at him...what a freak, and the banks told him to "go 'head and switch ya style up". Why would a bank tell someone that? I dunno, but apparently, whatever it means is good advice. I know this because, according to 50 Cent, even if people hate him, the money still piles up. How does that work? If people hate him then they won't buy his albums and the money will not pile up. He has some crazy logic. If all of this wasn't enough, he then threatens all of the people who don't like him. He says that he will personally "go up side they head with a bottle of bub". Thats gotta hurt. Champagne is sortof um...heavy, as its a liquid. And its bottle is glass. That could cause permanent damage I think. Lets see the money pile up then, 50, what with you having to pay medical bills and all. He would probably win the case though. His excuse would be: "Dawg, shorty, if that cracka hadn't a been so white and done was been hatin' on me, shoot, I wouldn-a had ta bust him up so bad, yo. Know what I'm sayin'?" This would be enough to convince the judge and jury. Easily.

Thankfully, aside from the chorus and some random mumbling to himself, 50 shuts up. Praise God. I was kinda worrying that there wasn't a god there for a while. Whew.