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Ladies and male lady equivalents, there is a void in your life. A huge bleedin' void. So big it's embarrassing, seriously. You try to keep it covered, like, with a shirt or something, but it just keeps growing. Pretty soon, you'll be bumping and grinding at the local shindig, and when you look down to make sure your precious belly button ring is intact, you're going to see that void poking out from under your bare-midriff shirt. And it'll be gross, if it isn't already.
But don't despair that your belly-dancing days are over! We're here to help. The void is your adversary, but adversity can be overcome. There may be a void on your chest, but those can be easily filled.
Let me be blunt, now, folks: Your life sucks because you don't have our new book, A Dinner of Leeks.
I was once like you too, you know. Before A Dinner of Leeks was published My life was as bad as could be and getting worse. For example:
- I couldn't find my left shoe!
- I missed the bus!
- I caught my girlfriend sleeping with my other girlfriend!
- I was served Diet Pepsi, even though I clearly asked for Dr. Pepper!
- I had cancer or something!
All of that has changed now, thanks to this wonderful book. The minute A Dinner of Leeks arrived in my mailbox, my life took a dramitic turn that I still haven't recovered from. I mean, that still hasn't stopped.
- I instantly learned how to swing-dance!
- I discovered that my real father is a ninja!
- Michael Jackson got aquitted!
- I had a long and meaningful chat with my girlfriends and we are on good terms now!
- I found a really neat-looking rock!
So what are you waiting for? Have A Dinner of Leeks today! Here's a sneak preview at some of the great features of this book:
- Adversity is triumphed over!
- Some of the characters are occasionally Mexican!
- Aunt Marjpore tragically dies in the end!
- Get the book already!
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