DeFuniak Springs, FL -- Mrs. Laura Bush had supposedly gone to visit her ranch in Texas, but authorities claim they found her in a Motel 8 in Florida, in bed with Elvis!
"I don't know what it is about Elvis, but I can't keep my hands off him. I'm sorry, George, but you would have, too, if you were me," Mrs. Bush explained.
We are very disappointed that our leader would fraternize with such underlings," Glork ZeekBok, Vice Chairman of UFO Delivery Services Ltd., of which Elvis is superintendent, commented. "We put Elvis back on Earth so he could solve the murder of Jon-Benet, not so he could practice pimping on the president's wife."
We were able to speak to President Bush, as he was training Bat Boy to fly through a hoop. "This is worse than when Bat Boy pooped in my hair," Bush said. "But I'm still thankful for the time Elvis took a bullet for me, so if he wants to share my wife, he's allowed to."
The King declined comment on the whole affair, and is preparing to ride a UFO to Galaxy 739-A so he can pick up some anti-demon spray for the soldiers in Iraq to use. The soldiers are moving their tents and vehicles around so their camp will look like it says "We 
Elvis" when seen from above.