In our English class, our teacher makes us write one page on a generic journal topic, and she checks them occasionally. Last grading period, she checked them twice. And the second time, she admitted to not reading them.

To me, this meant complete freedom. I could write whatever I wanted, and it didn't even have to be on the topic, as long is it was one page long.

This nine weeks, our teacher checked the journals after we had done four of them. She told us that it would be our second test grade of the nine weeks. I got a 25.

On the sheet where it lists our journal topics, she had put a check and "maybe" next to one of them, and dashes next to the ones unders it. She wrote this comment:

you did not even remotely address the topic in the last two. You should spend less time trying to be funny and more time completing the assignment.

She should tell us what the assignment is.

[I used a technique in this one that I copied from Polymorph Want a Cracker? I wouldn't have done that if I had known I would be posting this as an essay.]

I would like to travel to Marshmallowville, U.S.A.! No, it doesn't really exist. Rather, it exists in your imagination. It has to exist in your imagination because I know it doesn't exist in mine. Otherwise, it doesn't exist at all, and I can't go there. And it will be your fault. Shame on you for crushing a child's dreams!

Marshmallowville is where all the unborn marshmallows live. Everybody is happy in Marshmallowville. There is no sadness. Just happiness. And ! Oh boy, you will not believe how much there is to be had in Marshmallowville. You can ride the marshmallowcoaster, or eat marshmallowcream! It's -er-ific! Ha! It's because it sounds like "terrific"! Of course, there are some things that aren't in Marshmallowville. There's the pollution, the hoboes in every alley, and the mayor is a fat marshmallow! But we don't care, we're too busy having on the marshmallowcoaster! We can just ourselves to death until everyone starves. So come on down and join the !

12. A person's most important trait is...

[The inspiration for this was a limerick the teacher wrote on the board, for another class.]

A person't most important trait is the name of their toes. If you have a toe named Lou, you are fated to a life of pain and anguish. Let me relate to you the example of one toe named Lou:

There once was a toe named Lou,

Who frequently cried out "Boo Hoo!"

That's the problem. The toes is constanty speaking out against its government. It obviously wants a new head. "Boo Hoo" is a vernacular taunt, combining "Boo", as in dissapointed with the person in question, and "Woo Hoo", as in excitement with the upcoming events. Lou is excited that the head is going to be punished for its poor job.

With each day that passed,

Lou grew anxious with the passing of time about how poorly the citizens of his foot were being treated. He wants to move to a new foot.

He was constantly smashed,

Tyranny in its cruelest form! The head sees the political unrest and hires hitmen, like walls, to repeatedly bludgeon Lou's foot! Whatever will he do?

But so were the other nine too!

To make an example, the head is executing Lou's whole family! Help elect Lou head before it's too late!

13. My favorite place is...

My favorite place is between my fingers, because that's where I put my drug needles.

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