The two policemen came into a very bright room. The couple inside were sitting on a couch. They had turned on every light that they could.

"Good morning," the captain said in a friendly tone. The other policeman, the deputy, was there for training. He needed to see how civilians who had just been robbed could be calmed. "And Merry Christmas. There's no need to be afraid, he's not coming back while we're here." The policemen sat down. "Why don't you tell us what happened."

The husband began. "Well... since it was the night before Christmas, we were asleep in our beds, with visions of sugarplums dancing in our heads. We--"

"If I may interrupt," said the deputy, "do sugarplums normally dance in your heads?"

They both shook their heads.

"What is a sugarplum, exactly?" the deputy asked.

No one answered. The wife pointed to a bookshelf. "We have a dictionary over there."

"So you were dreaming of things that you don't even know what they are." The deputy looked at them sternly. "Have you been using any drugs, or--"

"Careful," the captain said aside to him. "We'll search the place later, and say we're looking for clues." He turned back to the couple. "Please, go on."

"We expected not a creature to be stirring, not even a burglar. But in the middle of the night, I got up to finish that glass of milk and those cookies I left out." He squeezed his wife's hand. "And there he was, by the Christmas tree. He was carrying a huge sack full of loot. I think I scared him off," he said proudly. "But to be honest, he really frightened me. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I would soon be dead."

The husband went on, "He ran away once he saw I wasn't going anywhere. But this part really freaked me out, and my wife saw it too." The horror of the memory showed on her face. "He gave me the finger pressed against his nose, and then nodded as if to tell me not to call you. And then--he climbed up the chimney. Just like that. Without leaving a trace."

"Was anything discovered missing?" the captain asked, like he was trained to do.

"Yes. He stole my milk and cookies!"

"That's all? Nothing valuable? Nothing electrical?" asked the deputy. "Okay, well, what did he say?"

"He had a sick sense of humor. He hopped in his getaway sled, and I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, 'Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!'"

A signal came in from over the captain's radio. "Hey, captain. Captain, are you there?"

The captain stood up. "Keep them entertained, will you?" he said to the deputy, then stepped outside.

"What is it, sir?" He said on the radio.

"There's another victim we'd like you to handle."

"I thought you sent another squad to take care of that!"

"Every squad's out on this case. This guy, or maybe an army of look-alikes, managed to break into every house. Some Christmas gift."

"Where do they all come from?" remarked the captain in awe.

"An informant tells us he's got some kind of sweatshop in Canada. He's confirmed to be a notorious counterfeiter--his factory can copy about every kind of toy out there."

"Why toys?"

"It's a big industry. Videogame consoles sell for about $200, and the games can be $50."

A new voice broke in. "Hey, everyone! I've got a new lead. My kid thinks this guy works for the mall!"

"I'll be right over! If we can catch this Christmas Kingpin, it may not be too late to save the holidays." He went to get the deputy. If they could stop this worldwide menace, they would be heroes.