We're being driven like slaves in our English class -- that is to say, we're reading (or sleeping) along as a reconding of Romeo and Juliet plays, and our teacher plays Solitaire or does something on her computer. Then, after we finish an act, we're watching a 1968 movie of Romeo and Juliet. Is this why we have to take a class in our native language every year? To stare at the arse of various characters in olde-English plays? Yes, that's right. There was about two minutes of Romeo lying unclothed and uncovered next to Juliet, and then getting up and opening the window, and having all of England look up to him. Then Romeo put on some pants, and we were flashed by Juliet for about a second. Now, if you think of the cultural origins of this play, you think about how all the actors were male in Shakespeare's day, and then you shudder as you think of them enacting this particular scene...

When I said Romeo put on some pants on? I didn't mean it. Every male character wore tights, with one leg a different color from the other, and in the groin area the colors were swapped, just to make it stand out.

Speaking of old Europe and groins, in seventeenth century Italy, some boys were castrated at an early age so they would keep a high voice and become singers. I don't know how they chose which babies to castrate. Maybe they chose the babies that expressed interest in being a singer.

But enough of that. Another strange thing is how all the males carry around tiny swords that you couldn't cut a steak with. They were just floppy fencing tinfoil wires! But they sure did a lot of waving around of the swords. For example, in the book, a fight scene would look something like this: