The Incredible Rad Space Tank cruised through the galaxy, taking the crime fighting squad away from the gas station. The setting was space. It was dark. Mmm, yes.

"Laughed out of a gas station! Can you believe it?" said the leader, Rex Washington. Rex was piloting the ship at a high speed through a tough obstacle course, because that's what cool people do. Cool people also have four enemies chasing them as they fly, but Rex couldn't arrange that.

"Yes. You suck." This was said by Lee Black, the dark, sulky squad member with a past that won't be mentioned in this story. "You introduced us as the... the..."

"Supotonimuhuthinsp. It's clever. It's the first two letters from every word in our team's name," Rex said defensively.

"...Whatever," Lee continued. "You can't do anything right, from completing a mission to filling a gas tank. You can't even pronounce your own last name right!"

"Well, if you think like that, why are you even here?" said Generic Character #3.

Lee considered. "Hmm. I guess there isn't a good reason for me to stay around." Lee got into the emergency life boat, launched it, and piloted it back to the gas station. He went on to have many a great aventure as the leader of his own criminal syndicate.

John Scullface came into the chamber from the kitchen. He was a strong man they recruited from a circus. In one hand he held a spatula, dripping grease onto the carpet, and his other hand was a hook. "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" he shouted at Rex. "You can't do that! It's not fair that you can fire out best fighter while I'm busy cooking!" John waved his spatula angrily, spattering grease on the wall. "I never even got to say goodbye..." he sniffled.

Rex ignored him and turned on comminication to the crew's quarters. "Generic Character #4! Wake up and get your carcass down here with the rest of us!"

"What are you talking about? My shift's not for another hour!" moaned Generic Character #4.

"Get down here or you'll meet the same fate as Generic Character #2!" Rex yelled.

"No... you wouldn't..." Generic Character #4's voice was breathless.

Generic Character #3 walked up to Rex's side. "Captain, what's gotten into you? You fired our best fighter, and now you're threatening us generic characters. What happened to the good old days, when..."

While Generic Character #3 was struggling to remember the good old days, Skye Starlet walked in. Skye was a beautiful fighter who was once an entertainer in the service of the Emperor. "Hey, what's up?" she said brightly. "And what did happened to Generic Character #2? He must have left before you freed me from that old meanie of an Emperor." She scowled as she mentioned him, but she brightened up right after. "Thank you for rescuing me. I want to learn so many things. What was the fate of Generic Character #2? You said he met a fate."

If Generic Character #3 was relieved by Skye's entrance because he no one would notice he couldn't remember any good old days, that relief was gone. In fact, it was safe to say the relief had disappeared faster than a bake sale in a nuclear explosion, Generic Character #3 was that uncomfotable. "Well, Skye..." he began slowly, "you see, we generic characters have no past and no personality. Our only hope for our future is that we might be remembered for accompaning a hero on his journeys. If we're fired, we have no home, no skills, and no place else to turn. In fact... we stop existing."

"Aww, this is ridiculous!" John threw his spatula down. "How can you sit there listening to the whinings of some nobody when the star of our team has run away?"

"Because, John," Rex said without turning around, "we need to put the generic characters in their place. They wouldn't have laughed at us so much back at the gas station if the generic characters weren't such idiots! Generic Character #4 hasn't arrived yet. Cut his rations, John."

"Actually, Rex," Skye chimed in, "you could get Lee back and keep the generic characters from rebelling by going--"

"No one asked you! We just keep you around because you're pretty. You know the rules. Go to your room."

Ask Skye began to leave, Generic Character #4 came in. "Hey, #4. Watch out for Rex. He's unhappy," she said as she left.

"Yo, captain. 'sup?" #4 said as he leaned against the wall where John spattered grease.

"Alright, #4. I know you're new here, and you don't know what's going on. So let me tell you. You're the generic character. And you have to do what I say. That simple. Now, take over the controls for a while. I'm hungry."

"Hey, I didn't sign up for this! I don't have to take this!" so Generic Character #4 quit the party. And stopped existing.

The crew stared at Rex. Rex stared back.

The commercials began.