|
1. The gay-er you look, the hotter your girlfriend is. 2. (the converse statement) The hotter your girl is, the gay-er you look. 3. All cab drivers are potential Islamic terrorists or African freedom fightters. 4. Jobs abound in large cities, yet all homeless people claim they cannot find work. 5. There is more security around a bunch of Van Gogh's than there is around the Capitol Building. 6. The reflecting pools are the sole source of income for many of the city's homeless. (Several small children waded out into the reflecting pool picking up as much change as they could find, my father threw in a handful of pennies, we laughed as they ran to catch them and as they fought over them.)(We are terrible people.) 7. Homeless people have expensive jewelry. 8. It was required for all Roman sculptors to include gratuitous male nudity in all of their work. 9. No matter where your hotel, you are always withing spitting distance of a gay bar. 10. We stayed down the street from the recently abandoned Iraqi foreign embassy. 11. All inner city Mexican restaurants require you to wait for an hour and a half before they seat you. 12. Men's restrooms can at some times be clean. 13. The Hope Diamond sucks. 14. All of the first ladies (excluding Jackie Kennedy, whadda babe!) are generally unattractive. 15. McDonald's owns half of the greater Washington D.C. area. | ||