Downtown Midorsburg City was never a pretty thing to see. It was even uglier at night.

Traffic. Music from the local club. An old guy riding on a tractor. Beeps from a truck backing out into the road. A lone sparrow in the park. Papers being blown in the wind. A scream.

These are the sounds caught on a camera for making sure people stop at red lights. But the camera has caught more than the evidence of a few dozen traffic violations. This videotape footage could be the key to solving the murder of the dame Natalie Wagner, private citizen.

Yes, the night in Midorsburg City belonged to the thieves, tramps, and IRS agents. And only one man is ready to take the night back. That man would be

To protect his identity, Ned Woodsmith is known by day as Woody Nedsmith, Dental Hygienist. His employer, Dr. Capon, is paid to keep a blind eye whenever "Woody" has to leave for government duty. Dr. Capon became rich soon after he hired Ned.

8:47 P.M. at Dr. Capon's Tooth Clinic. Ned was working overtime, cleaning up after Leroy "Spitting Cobra" Honstead. The phone rings. Ned picks it up, knowing it's for him. He's right.

"Hey Ned. Come to the park at the corner of New York and Ghetto Avenue, and bring that little mirror thing with you," said The Boss.

"What's up, Boss?" Ned said, annoyed at having to ask. "Think you got a lead on the Teeth Thief?"

"Better. No, wait, worse. No, it's bet--well, it's worse in the sense that a murder has been committed, better in the sense that we'll get more funding if you solve this one. I'll tell you more about it when you get here. The Molar Masher could be tapping our line."

8:50 P.M. at Englewood Park. The Boss looked at the moon, and then turned around and scratched his head in suprise. "Woodsmith, how'd you get here so quickly?"

"I took the Tooth Taxi. And my office is on 360 Ghetto Avenue, just half a block from here," Ned explained knowingly.

The Boss slapped his head. "Quick, Woodsmith! You forgot your disguise! Put it on!" Ned slapped his head too, then went back to the Tooth Taxi and pulled over his coat a white t-shirt that said "Mr. T the Tooth says, 'I pity the fool, thug, or soul who don't rub his teeth with his fingers when he ain't got no toothbrush!'" The Boss had to help him into it, as it kept getting caught in his coat pockets.

Woodsmith tucked his shirt in and went over to the crime scene. "Holy Rigatoni," he whistled. "What happened to her?"

"Sharpened library card through the throat. But that's not what's important. What's important is that the cops are trying to eat the evidence!" The Boss pointed at three half-eaten scones on a park table. "I had to steal a ghetto blaster from the kid passing by, but I was able to pound the coppers unconscious with it. Deal with the scones before the birds arrive!"

Ned thought. "Just two questions first. Why did you tell me to bring the mirror thingy?"

The Boss laughed out loud. "Everyone at the department thinks they're so funny. I mean, they're little mirrors on sticks! It's like chicken on a stick but--"

"And whose card was it?" asked Ned hastily.

The Boss stopped chuckling. "Oh. I'unno."

11:34 AM at Dr. Capon's Tooth Clinic. Johnny Jackson was four minutes late for his appointment, and everyone knew it. Tension could be felt in the air.

Wasting no time, Dr. Capon lead Johnny into the examination room and seated him into the chair. "Woody Nedsmith" clamped down Johnny's hands and feet and locked all the padlocks. Dr. Capon left the room, as he was trained to do.

Johnny tried to scream, but his mouth was too full of Dental Stone(tm) to work. The procedure was short and painless. The mold from Johnny's teeth was taken off. (Mold as in a cast, not as in fungus.) Then Ned, still disguised as Woody, went to the break room and played table tennis as he waited an hour for the cast to dry.

As soon as it was dry, Ned took the cast to the basement. Using his X-Ray Vision machine and his superior knowledge of practical and philosophical dentistry, Ned finished analyzing the cast just before everyone fell asleep with boredom while waiting for him.

Ned called The Boss. "Once again, the Forensic Dentristry Department has triumphed! The tear marks on two of the scones match Johnny's teeth exactly! When can you be here?"

"I've been waiting for you in the waiting room the whole bloody time. But this is great! Nevermind the fact that the library card had his name on it. Now, there's only one thing we need to find out..."

Ned (in uniform) and The Boss approached Johnny, who was still clamped down and beginning to get rather disrespectful. "We already know you murdered Natalie Wagner. No use denying it."

"I did it because I was paid to assassinate N.W. who worked in holistic history. But now I realized I heard my client wrong; I was supposed to kill an N.W. in Forensic Dentistry!" Johnny snarled.

"Don't interrupt!" commanded the boss. "Now, we want to know why you had two scones instead of one."

"Because I was hungry, you dolt!"

"Oh."